


hoping hopelessly

by haikyuto



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Asexual Hinata Shouyou, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Sad Miya Atsumu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28139649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikyuto/pseuds/haikyuto
Summary: Atsumu envisions his confession to Shouyou, as cheesy as it might be, he does not care. Shouyou does not feel the same, though...
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	hoping hopelessly

**Author's Note:**

> this was written in 2 hours, and i do not CAREEEE, have this angsty scrap. i can't really write angst though. WELP

Atsumu is leaning against the cold window of the team bus, middle of the night on their way back to Osaka, desperately trying to get a bit sleep in, not taking into account that Bokuto is eagerly chatting with Akaashi via phone about their game today right next to his seat. Something about "exceptionally sharper spikes today" and "you have to rewatch the entire match".

Reluctantly giving in to the noise drilling into his ear, Atsumu takes his smartphone out of his pocket, checking for some messages. He had some unanswered but…

Shouyou still hasn't responded.

It's been eight months since Shouyou left for Brazil again, and Atsumu still blames his cowardice for not confessing when he had the opportunity to. They call each other if the chance arises, but that has become a rarity. His pining and hungry heart is just getting fed with a few short messages, usually answering the questions he asked.  
There have been some moments where he had been very excited to chat, especially in the beginning, about Asas' setter. Setting off a specific sensor in Atsumu. Jealousy.

That guy's getting to set to Shouyou, not me.

Shouyou's whatsapp status changes the exact moment Atsumu wanted to close his phone to continue his pettiness. To "online". Atsumu quite literally can't contain his excitement, smiling like a fool, it has been too long. He's taking long and Atsumu is starting to consider the option that he might not answer at all, only to get a long one.

S: "Oh, Atsumu, hey! Yeah, I plan on rewatching your match against Hyakuzawa, probably today in the evening, so don't you dare spoil me! I've been pretty lucky to get some time off, but the team's planning a trip to the beach for tomorrow, a bit resting is part of training! And you are probably tired by now. Go sleep, dumbass!"

Atsumu just got an idea.

A: "Shou, I will only go to sleep if ya send me a selfie of yourself."

S: "Well why not."

Following up was a picture, of Shouyou on the concrete streets of Sao Paulo, having sunglasses stuck into his hair, wearing a blue tank top, brightly smiling into the camera while forming a peace sign with his fingers. As if his hair wasn't enough, the strong tropical sun rays highlight his defined arm muscles and make him seem irresistible and incredibly easy to be drawn to. Warmed up in this cold season, Atsumu buries his nose into the collar notch of his jacket, feeling all tipsy. Damn, he's deep.

S: "Oh sorry, Sergio just jumped into the photo. He just HAS to be the center of attention all the time."

Oh. That's something he completely missed. But he's right. There is someone darker tanned with a big build diagonally jumping in the background behind Shouyou, smirking wide. Tingling Atsumu's senses.

A: "Who's that, Shou?"

S: "Oh, Sergio? He's the setter I've been talking about all the time! Damn Atsumu, stay updated, he transferred the same time I did."

That is the type of guy to be wary about. The charm coming off him is highly bugging him, he can't quite grasp what his biggest problem with him is though. There is a little intermission in their little conversation, Atsumu trying to figure out how he could react the best way while also not burying his pride completely. Shouyou stays online the entire time.

A: "Does he set better than I do?"

S: "That is a pretty mean question to ask, Atsumu! How am I supposed to make a decision?"

He is clearly dodging the question. Unintentionally hurting Atsumu. His pride has been utterly stuffed by his former wing spiker. Although, he doesn't really have the right to complain.

\----------------------------

"Shouyou, how did the day go for you?" Sitting on his couch on his off day, Atsumu leans forward, grabbing his favourite green tea, lovingly made by himself. Every person he asked had seen him as a coffee person, when in reality, he despises it. The bitter taste and smell ain't something for him, the hatred didn't fade with age either.

Enough to be considered as an answer, all he received were quiet and suppressed sobs from the other side of the line. Alerting Atsumu.

"Shou, you can tell me, what happened?"

"I was rejected, Atsumu. There was this girl I liked, she just… is so sweet and beautiful and pretty, just so very endearing and fun to be around. She shut me down, insisting on our friendship, but to be honest… I'm more shocked about the fact that I am not even that heartbroken about it."

It hurts hearing him so devastated like this, but Atsumu can manage. Shouyou didn't have luck with that random girl and is still single, to confess now would still be pretty insensitive, waiting some days should be the safest option.

"How exactly are you shocked?"

"Atsumu, I have read some articles. About sexuality…"

This could be it. Shouyou realizing his bisexuality, Atsumu finally being able to confess without the constant fear of rejection. He would travel to Brazil without Shouyou knowing, surprising him with his sudden visit and asking him to be his boyfriend in the shine of the sunset, embracing him so endearingly and loving as he says yes. It would be so ideal-

"I'm probably asexual, at least, having read these texts, I identify with everything mentioned there. Maybe I have been confusing attraction with platonic feelings all this time."

And his castle of endless hopes breaks down. Hell of endlessly hopeless, now.

"Shouyou…are you completely sure about this?"

"Not really…"

"Do...you think you are attracted to anybody right now?"

"Again, no…"

Atsumu sees. He should know when to draw the line. Overstepping boundaries would be too much. And ruining their friendship based on one-sided feelings is completely pointless. One-sided. Shouyou doesn't return his feelings. He was purely platonic, the entire time. Potentially even asexual, aromantic. Not interested in anything more with him. Who was he even to think that Shouyou, the forever free could be contained by someone? He hasn't lost Shouyou to anyone, but still, he strongly feels the hardships of defeat.

"Atsumu, why are you even asking?" Shouyou stutters a bit insecure.

He has to keep himself from bursting into tears, worsening his already wrecked situation, trying to sound remotely fitting to the situation, as not-caring as he could.

"No reason."

Except he does.


End file.
